We’ve all heard the mantras: “Think positive!”, “Everything happens for a reason!”, “Chin up, buttercup!”. While the intention behind these phrases can be good, sometimes the emphasis on perpetual positivity can be harmful. This is where the concept of toxic positivity comes in.

What is toxic positivity?

Toxic positivity is the belief that negative emotions should be suppressed or denied, and that we should always strive for a happy and optimistic outlook, regardless of the circumstances. This often manifests in phrases like:

• “Just be positive, it’s all in your head!”
• “Don’t be such a downer, everything will be okay!”
• “There’s always a silver lining, you just have to find it!”

Signs of Toxic Positivity

Why is it harmful?

While positive thinking can be beneficial, toxic positivity has several negative effects:

• Invalidates negative emotions: It tells people their feelings of sadness, anger, or disappointment are wrong or unimportant. This can lead to emotional suppression, which can actually worsen emotional distress in the long run.
• Creates pressure to be perfect: The constant pressure to be happy and positive can lead to feelings of inadequacy and guilt when experiencing negative emotions. This can contribute to anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem.
• Hinders healthy coping: By denying negative emotions, people are less likely to seek help or engage in healthy coping mechanisms. This can lead to unhealthy behaviors such as substance abuse or isolation.
• Damages relationships: When people aren’t allowed to express their true feelings, relationships can suffer. They may feel unheard, unsupported, and isolated.

So, how can we counteract toxic positivity?

• Acknowledge and validate all emotions: It’s okay to feel sad, angry, or disappointed. Allow yourself to feel your emotions without judgment.
• Practice healthy coping mechanisms: Find healthy ways to deal with your emotions, such as exercise, journaling, or talking to a therapist.
• Focus on gratitude: While not ignoring negativity, practicing gratitude can help shift your perspective towards the positive.
• Communicate openly and honestly: Share your feelings with trusted friends and family who will listen without judgment.
• Challenge the “good vibes only” narrative: Speak up when you see examples of toxic positivity and offer alternative ways to support people who are struggling.

How to avoid Toxic Positivity

Remember, it’s normal to experience a range of emotions. Don’t let the pressure to be happy all the time make you deny your true feelings. Embrace the full spectrum of your emotional experience and focus on building genuine emotional well-being.